God's Goodness

I am currently obsessed with The Passion Translation. A friend of mine recommended it to me a little while back. And for my birthday this past year my mom gifted it to me. BEST. GIFT. EVER. Well, next to God's grace and unconditional, unwavering, never-ending love. I mentioned last week that my mind is racing with blog post options. My brain is pretty overwhelmed. My fingers are having a hard time keeping up. And it's the most wonderful feeling ever. Our Living God is so good, friends. I was really contemplating what to write next. Wading through all of my thoughts and ideas He has given me. Where do I even start? So I just decided to ask Him. "Father, where do I even start this week?" And boy did he answer.

We were on the road this morning. Back to school has hit. It's day #3 and the new hasn't worn off yet. So we are all dressed early and out the door without any significant issues. Besides the fact that I am pretty sure neither of my 2 kids actually brushed their teeth. Even though, I told them to do so about 5 times. Mom's can ya relate? The struggle is real. My 11 year old did remember to apply deodorant. On the way to school he whipped out his spare deodorant that he keeps in his bag (because homeboy needs to reapply a couples times a day. Pre- puberty, friends. It's a smelly situation. He is gonna hate me for this. But he doesn't read my blog, so he will never know, right?) So anyway, he whips it out and puts it on. 6th grade teachers, you're welcome. Bless that kid's heart. His momma is a bit (maybe a lot) crunchy and only buys him the "granola" deodorant. It does not hold up as well as the toxic stuff. And guys, it's August in Texas. Need I say more?

We love our morning radio show, so of course, I crank it up. We listen to Way FM with Wally and his crew in the morning. Can I get an AMEN for family friendly radio?! All the praise hands, ya'll. But unfortunately, this morning in particular the station is static-y. No worries, I whip out my phone and stick on Spotify. It suffices. I mean it's not Wally being hilariously obnoxious to his cast mates, but it does the trick. We pull up to the school. I pray over my babies and they jump out of the car to start their day.

Then I head to Yoga. It's one of my many happy places. And turns out I am going to be super early this morning too because remember it's still fun to wake up early for school. Check with me next week to see how well that's going...#truthbomb Maybe I shouldn't speak that into power. Never mind I take it back. It's gonna be like this all year, ya'll!!! Whew! Anyway, I pull up to yoga early and I think, "Lord, I have 10 extra minutes. What would you like for me to do with them?" Immediately,  I think I need to turn on some music. When I dropped the kids I decided to put on a podcast. It was good, but I was feeling the need for some good jams. HERE is where it gets interesting...

God had a song ready for me. I pick up my phone and it says Psalm 34 (Taste and See) by Shane & Shane. Go look it up and listen, now. Do it! Because guys...it's POWERFUL! I didn't have my Bible so I start searching Psalm 34. It already sounds familiar. Of course, I look up The Passion Translation. And here is what stuck out to me-- "Lord! I'm bursting with joy over what you've done for me! My lips are full of perpetual praise! I'm boasting of you and all your works, so let all who are discouraged take heart...Listen to my testimony: I cried to God in my distress and he answered me. He freed me from my fears! Gaze upon him, join your life with his, and joy will come. Your faces with glisten with glory. You'll never feel that shame-face again."

Apparently, this powerful Psalm was written at David's lowest point in his life. Can you imagine? I have had some pretty low points and if I'm being honest. These were not the words on my lips. But that's okay because I am learning. I am growing.

I thank you, Father, for showing me this. This is purely your goodness. I love it when I get to experience you in this way. When you speak to me so clearly, and I hear you so clearly. Thank you for loving me so much. Thank you for teaching me.

Do you remember as a child, how your parent would kindly teach you something. Not shaming you, but simply showing you. Taking your hand and ever so gently showing you a better way. I think of myself sitting in His lap, just like I would with my earthly father or mother as a small child.

I think back to a 17 year old, Rebeka. Hurting and feeling very alone. My life was being turned upside down. My family was disintegrating right in front of me. After almost 20 years of marriage, my parents separated. And my dad had suffered a major medical crisis. As the oldest of 3, I felt like I had to carry all of the responsibility. I was also carrying around a whole lot of shame. When your world is rocked, it makes you question everything. And as an already sensitive kid struggling with anxiety and depression, this weight was almost crushing. And I told no one. I felt fully abandoned. I was alone. I remember walking into my bedroom and curling into a corner in the dark. I wanted to hurt myself. I felt like any physical pain would be better than what I was feeling mentally and emotionally. And in that moment, almost immediately after having that thought, I felt a presence. I didn't know it then, but it was God's goodness. His glory. His presence. Peace came over me. I know that is what it was because I have since experienced this same thing many times over and over again. He shows up when no one else does. 

And you better believe, He ALWAYS shows up.

Even when I didn't know how to cry out to Him, He still answered me. And he will continue to do so forever and ever. Amen!!!

I believe we all have a story. Our stories matter. Friend, YOUR story matters. YOU matter. And YOU are so loved. Even when you don't feel it. Even when you don't know it. So whether you're at the lowest valley in your life, like David or you're at the highest peak remember He is with you. He hears your cries and your praises. And He is the same today, as He was when David was calling out to him. He is the same today, as when I felt His calm come over me all those years ago. And He will be the same tomorrow and the next day, and the next...

I wish I could say in that moment everything changed and I was able to pull it together. But I wasn't. There was still hurt and choices made that led to tough consequences. However, I look back now and see the people and things he placed strategically in my life to love me and care for me. I mentioned last week that I took a lot of detours. And guys, I did. A whole bunch of them. But He is still routing for me, guiding me, loving on me. And yes, even with something as simple as a song that pops up on my Spotify playlist.

This week I challenge you (as well as myself) to wait expectantly and excitedly for the ways God will show up in our lives. And when He does (Because He will), let Psalm 34 be our prayer.