Mover of Mountains

"God you're such a safe and powerful place to find refuge! You're proven help in time of trouble-- More than enough and always available whenever I need you. So we will never fear even if every structure of support were to crumble away. We will not fear even when the earth quakes and shakes, moving mountains and casting them into the sea. For the raging roar of stormy winds and crashing waves cannot erode our faith in you." Psalm 46:13 The Passion Translation

He is a mover of mountains. Ask me how I know. 

I have seen it. I have experienced the mountains in my life being moved time and time again. He is the..

"Mover of mountains

Robber of graves

Triumphant King

We praise Your name

Healer of sickness

Giver of life

Your name is Jesus

Jesus Christ"

--Mover of Mountains, Citipointe Live

I have tried to write three different times this week. I couldn't seem to quiet my thoughts. I had so much inner chatter going on. And it was incredibly distracting. Do you ever feel like this? Like even when you are still and everything around you is quiet the inner dialogue is still raging. I love writing at coffee shops and I usually don't have an issue with the noise around me. Today, I was even at the car dealership and I have usually been able to write or work there. I couldn't get comfortable. Even trying to sit criss cross apple sauce in the floor. Yes, I was that crazy lady chilling in the floor at the Toyota dealership today. I got some pretty strange looks. But even with worship music cranked up, it just wasn't working. I had a bad case of writers block. Until now...

My body is exhausted. My husband is out of town for the next 10 days or so and I have the hardest time getting a restful night sleep without him here. Him being gone for extended amounts of time is a trigger for my anxiety. It's a feeling I am all too familiar with...missing him. When we were dating he was in the Marine Corps. Early in our dating relationship and marriage he was away at bootcamp, training school, and then...war. When he was in Iraq I couldn't sleep. I wouldn't let myself fall into too deep of a sleep no matter how tired I was for fear of missing a 3AM phone call from him. I will never forget being jolted awake by the sound of a phone at crazy hours in the middle of the night. He always sounded so incredibly far away. Because he was. He was literally on the other side of the world. Greg eventually came home safe and in one piece. And what I thought was the worst part of our lives, was over.

I have seen God move mountains because He brought Greg home to me.

While Greg was in Iraq I actually gave birth to our son, Levi. I was 18 years old and terrified. My husband was half way around the world enduring the unthinkable and there I was, alone. I have spent a lot of my life thinking I was alone. Or feeling isolated. The enemy loves it when he can isolate me. Even though I had a lot of support during this time, I still felt very alone. I didn't know what was going on behind the scenes. Where my Heavenly Father was fighting for me. Today, I was taking a miracle inventory of my life in preparation to write this blog post. And I couldn't help but think-- I wonder what miracles have occurred in my life and I wasn't even aware they were miracles. The things that my Father took care of without me even knowing I dodged a preverbal bullet. Have you ever taken a Miracle Inventory? If not, I highly recommend. Especially if you are struggling with anxiety or depression. Sometimes we just need a reminder that even when we don't feel it, God is fighting for us. He is moving the mountains.

A mountain: Teen pregnancy. 

Talk about an uncomfortable subject for many. I know, ya'll. Did ya just squirm a bit. ;) If you would have told me this was how my life would play out...I would have laughed. Really. Really hard. No way!! I was way too responsible to let this happen. That.Would.Never.Happen.To.Me. But it did. I was in shock. And Greg was too. How did this happen? Well, I know how it happened. Ha! Gosh, guys. (insert eye roll here) But really, you just don't think it will happen to you. And then we were faced with a very difficult decision. Do I keep the pregnancy? Or do I have an abortion? The majority of my support system were actively advocating for me to have an abortion. And can I just say, I absolutely understand why. They loved me. They feared for me. And they were just doing the best they knew how at the time and in the midst of the circumstances. I do not begrudge them for that at all. They loved me so much and feared for my future. This is not what they saw for me. And it wasn't what I saw for myself either. I am so thankful I had people in my life who were advocating for me and my future. So if you're reading this, and you are one of those people, I want to say THANK YOU. Thank you for loving me and supporting me even if it wasn't what you wanted for me. We were all just doing our best at the time. And that--that is what matters most.

Levi will turn 12 in a couple of months. And I cannot imagine my life without him. I cry tears of utter joy (literally sobbing as I type) thinking of what a GIFT he is to me. He is brilliant. He is kind. He is handsome. He is athletic. He is sarcastic in the best of ways. And he is at the top of my miracle inventory. Thank you, Jesus, for Levi. Thank you for being a mover of mountains.

Being his momma is the best.

A mountain: BRCA Gene

A couple years ago my mother found out she was BRCA positive. If you are not familiar with this gene it means you have a significant increase in chances of having breast cancer, ovarian cancer, and melanoma--just a name a few. Trust me, the list is long. We knew she was at risk to have the gene because it runs heavily in her family. She wanted to know in order to take preventative measures if necessary. Her test results came back and they were within a range she was not comfortable taking the risk and started making arrangements to have prophylactic procedures. During this time she also urged me and my sister to have the testing done as well. We had a 50/50 chance of testing positive. I immediately made an appointment to have the blood test done. Of course, my insurance wouldn't cover the cost of my testing because and I quote "Your mother doesn't have an active cancer diagnoses." Um excuse me sir, (Poor guy working at the lab. Just the messenger. Bless his heart.) so you're telling me my mom has to get cancer before my insurance will pay for this stupid blood test? "Yes, pretty much." So an estimated 89% chance of getting breast cancer after the age of 50 and a 62% before the age of 50 isn't enough? "No, ma'am."

My Mom and me!

Without hesitation I paid out of pocket. It was just something I needed to know for sure. This would also effect my children. If I tested positive, they too may. Sitting in my car after that phone call I felt incredibly defeated. Why was it so hard to STAY healthy these days? Now, they were even making it hard to "know better, do better." I am not saying I would have jumped into a full on double mastectomy at the age of 30, but being able to take other preventative measures would have sufficed. Annual checks. Hek, just being more aware an in tune with my body. Sitting there I felt a calm and peace rush over me. "I've already been there." Whispered that still small voice. And in that moment I knew I had nothing to fear. Nothing to worry about. Because regardless of that test or it's results I am still a child of the ONE TRUE KING. And He has already been there.

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV

"The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you..." Deuteronomy 1:30 NIV

"This is what the Lord says to his anointed...I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron." Isaiah 45:1-2

Need I go on?

The mighty Lord of Angel Armies is on my side. In that moment, I just started to proclaim that I would receive a healthy report. I knew it. I felt it. He is the mover of mountains. Better yet, he levels them. #micdrop

A few short weeks later I received my test results-- NEGATIVE

THANK YOU, GOD!

I could go on and on about the mountains in my life that my Father has leveled, moved, disintegrated. Even during the times in my life where I was not in an active relationship with him. He was still there. He was still moving mountains. He was still fighting for me. I know the Mover of Mountains. He calls me His daughter. 
  

And He.Is.Fighting.For.You.Too 

Take your miracle inventory, friend. I'd love to hear all about it!

"Lord, so many times I fail; I fall into disgrace. But when I trust in you, I have a strong and glorious presence protecting and anointing me. Forever you're all I need! Those who abandon the worship of God will perish. The false and unfaithful will be silenced, never heard from again. But I'll keep coming closer and closer to you, Lord Yahweh, for your name is good to me. I'll keep telling the world of your awesome works, my faithful and glorious God!" Psalm 73:26-28