Maybe that was a tad bit melodramatic. But alas, that's how it feels. It's a bit overwhelming at times when I fall into that trap of-- I've got to get everything done on the to-do list, while simultaneously being everything to everyone. Otherwise that makes me a bad momma/wife/business owner/blogger/daughter/sister/friend, right?
The answer to that question is, of course, NO! But is it an "of course" situation? Nope. Because we are wired to do and do and do. To set ourselves on fire, to strive, and to prove our worth. If I am making time to get my work done, am I stealing from moments with my children? If I am choosing to get some house work done, am I stealing time away from my job? If I am choosing to get a workout in instead of going to the park with my kids, am I a bad mom? I could go on and on...
I say all of this not to make you feel anxious, but to speak the truth into your life as well as my own. Because maybe you're feeling this way too? Because maybe you don't have a tribe in your life like I do to set you straight and speak biblical truth over your situation. This is what I know to be TRUTH...
Emotions are fleeting and they cannot be trusted. Oh, and that running negative dialogue in your head? It can't be trusted either. But what can be trusted? The living Word of God.
Part of why I feel so off kilter during these summer months is because I am used to getting a lot of alone time with my Heavenly Father. We are talking hours some days. And what an incredible blessing that time is. I am overwhelmed how The Almighty has often cleared my schedule so he and I can be together in our secret place. It's a little different when you've got kids under your feet needing something 24/7.
Art Camp.
Summer Workouts.
Horse Camp.
Play Dates.
Swimming Lessons.
They are bored.
They are hungry.
They are still hungry.
The little one is finally full, but the man-child is still hungry.
Don't let them have too much screen time.
Get on that summer reading.
"Tablet time is over. Go play outside. Oh, it's raining again. Awesome."
You can find yourself off balance pretty quickly. Grasping at ANYTHING to help you regain composure. And by you...I mean me. I find myself here. Here in this place where I feel like I am failing. But today, I heard my Father say..."You took your eyes off of me."
That is why I am flailing around attempting to not drop and decimate that crystal I am juggling. Or even a door swinging off of the hinge at the mercy of the wind. My eyes are not fixed where they need to be. Because if they were, not matter the circumstance or season, I would be standing on a firm foundation that is Jesus.
I love you, O Lord, my strength.
The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my
salvation, my stronghold.
Psalm 18:1-3 (NIV)
Rock is sturdy. It does not giveaway like sinking sand or mud. If you live in North East Texas you know we have some pretty untrustworthy soil around here. It may look sturdy, but it's actually not in the least. You may find yourself sinking quickly if you go into the mud. Or even worse? Try building on such a finicky foundation. It's just not going to work. The same thing happens when we try to build our lives on a deceitful foundation outside of the Word of God. He is our Rock. Our foundation on which we stand. And if our eyes ARE fixed on him we will not sink. If our eyes are fixed on him we will not fall. And now, I am humming an old hymn that Holy Spirit has planted on my heart as I am writing this...
"My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus Christ, my righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name."
This version by Hillsong Worship is one of my favorites. Crank it loud.
He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.
Psalm 18:16 (NIV)
As I read this verse above, tears filled my eyes. Remember that negative running dialogue I mentioned earlier? Well, the thought..."I feel like I am drowning" has been on repeat for me the past few days. Immediately, when I read that verse I knew in my heart of hearts that my Heavenly Father heard my cry. He knows me. He knows my need. He hears my prayers. And in that very moment as my eyes grazed that ink he spoke directly to me. His word is alive and so is he. We just have to be willing to focus our eyes on him. Even for just a split second. Because sometimes that's all it takes to know you are sought after and beloved. And in that moment, I am reminded of who I am. I am his. And he...he is the Almighty God.
The Lord lives! Praise be to my Rock!
Exalted be God my Savior!
He is the God who avenges me,
who subdues nations under me,
who saves me from my enemies.
You exalted me above my foes;
from violent men you rescued me.
Therefore I will praise you among the nations,
O Lord;
I will sing praises to your name.
He gives his king great victories;
he shows unfailing kindness to his
anointed,
to David and his descendants forever.
Psalm 18:46-50 (NIV)
So if you're feeling off balance in this season I want to encourage you to cry out to your Heavenly Father, and most importantly get in the Living Word of God. Set your feet upon the Rock and your gaze upon the one who laid his life down for yours; your savior, Jesus Christ.
And please know, You are not alone.
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